Wednesday, September 3, 2008

the new me

A slight departure today from my usual ramblings.

As my pregnancy has progressed, I've noticed that the changes to my body are as significant as what I went through during puberty... and I'm only half-way there! I'm not sure why this is such a revelation, maybe because most women don't talk about what pregnancy is like until you find yourself in that condition. Perhaps they believe the truth will turn too many women off of having children, or perhaps they would rather forget about all the changes that happen to your body.

While most of me is very happy to be pregnant (because I get a baby out of it!), a small part of me is struggling to deal with the new me. I was a very shy and awkward kid, who always thought of herself as unattractive. Then in university I gained lots of weight, which made things worse. I have worked so hard since then to stay fit and healthy, and it took me a long time to overcome that negative image of myself and become happy and comfortable with my body as an adult. So, it hurts a little when each piece of clothing becomes too small, when doing yoga in the morning becomes more awkward because of my growing belly. Among other things.

I know that most of the weight will disappear in the first few months after the baby is born, but I also know that I will never look quite the same as before. I suppose time will help me become accustomed to the new me, and I will probably forget about most of my struggles in the day to day business of taking care of a new baby. But some days it is hard to look that far ahead and be content right now.

I thought of an idea this morning which, while it won't help me now, might help me once my baby is born. I keep hearing about friends and fellow bloggers doing the 365 photo thing on flickr, but I never thought my life was interesting enough from day to day to both joining in the fun. But I think that a photo a day, of the slowly changing me and my baby, would be a project worth undertaking. I also think it would be a fun thing to share with my son one day, so he can see how much he changed and grew in the first year of his life.


Unknown said...

Thats a great idea, and don't worry, you will become even more beautiful as your pregnancy progresses and you get that wonderful bloom.

Esther said...

My friend at work took pictures of my growing bump at two or three weekly intervals and it was great seeing it grow. I found that by breast feeding and careful dieting weight loss was easy afterwards ( I gained a whopping 3.5 stone!) and am pleased to say i weigh less now than before. if you want to chat about feelings etc feel free to e-mail me, i'd be glad to help!

Catie said...

ooo that would be so cool - I hope I remember this idea when we have kids

RoxanneZYG said...

Hang in there Barbara...having children and a changing body is part of life and you're doing wonderfully! Look at all the other mothers around you - have they changed because of having children? I am more than sure they have in some wonderful way because they are fortunate enough to be a Mom. It's inevitable and one day you'll realize "it doesn't matter"...not in a "I don't care way" but more like in a letting go of body expectations way. I haven't commented for awhile but I am still reading and am so happy for you!

Jaime said...

It's true, your body never will be the same. But what's also true is that the amazing life that you're creating is totally, totally worth it.

TracyKM said...

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