A year ago today, I wrote this blog post. Reading that second paragraph, I should have know at the time I was tempting fate, wishing that Baby Mitten wouldn't show up in the middle of the holidays. I went into labour that evening, and Lev was born at 12:30 am on December 12. He was 5 weeks early, so tiny and scrawny, but so full of life that we knew everything would be okay.
Sadly, the first 2 weeks of his life were spent in the hospital, so I never did get to enjoy our Christmas tree. Although, the Christmas baking I did was a nice addition to hospital food (my pre-labour fit of nesting was to make 4 dozen mincemeat tarts!). It was such a relief to finally get him home, and make a start at fattening him up. You can see that by the summer, he was doing just fine!
It's so hard to believe that a whole year has gone by, and he's grown up into such a personality. A little bit of both of us, and a lot of his own goofy style. Getting a video camera was a brilliant idea, since photos could never quite capture some of the amazing moments of Lev's first year. Despite all the bad days (and nights) those moments of joy, silliness, and love sparkle in my memory.
Balancing work, learning how to be a mom, and making time to be a wife, has made this year challenging in many ways. I've changed so much, and those changes often came with a lot of tears: worrying that I wouldn't be good enough, might make the wrong choices, or lose myself in this new role. But now that I've made it through this first year, I think I've done okay, and I'm satisfied with the kind of mother I am to Lev. Seeing him happy, healthy, and learning so quickly, I know I must be doing something right (not to at all diminish how wonderful a father Mr. Mitten is).
Often work has lost out, although I could never regret the time I've spent taking care of my little one. I think this next year is going to bring a lot of changes to Fuzzy Mitten (good ones, never fear). I feel the need to take some different directions, branch out, and test the skills I've learned over the past 3 years. Keeping up with a toddler while trying to do all that is going to be a challenge, but I think I can make it fun if I keep my goals in mind, and take time to enjoy all the little happy moments he gives me.